I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
