so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
