The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
