you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
