I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
