yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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