can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
