Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
