the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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