i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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