Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
