i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
