he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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