ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
