no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
