My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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