just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
