if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
