White coat. Heels.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
