everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
