We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
