Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
