The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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