I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do herpes really smell.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
