If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
