susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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