and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
