Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
