Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
