I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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