maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
