she was so not down for the gang bang
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
