i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
