Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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