Four minutes until I can fart!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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