Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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