I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
