Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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