Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
