I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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