I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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