I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
