Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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