If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
