it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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