Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
