You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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