Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
