How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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