I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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