your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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