Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
